A 3 am Reminder

Night feeds are one my favorite things with Madi. The house is quiet, she usually latches and eats very well, and then I hold her upright afterwards for awhile before laying her back down. It's free from distraction and a chance for me to bond with her (she's two thirds asleep so the bonding's really just on my end, but I'll take it all the same ;-) )

It was during one of these peaceful nighttime feeds that I took an opportunity to pray and thank the Lord for my beautiful family. I thanked Him for my husband and my daughter.

I asked Him to forgive me for messing up with her so many times. I've yelled at her, been rough with her, gotten angry and impatient with her. I've improved so much, but I still fail so many times.

 I thanked Him that Madi still loves me and wants to be held and comforted by me. That she still smiles and laughs and talks to me despite how I've reacted to her sometimes. And in that moment I realized what it feels like to receive unconditional love from someone. 

Madi has given me a huge gift - a small glimpse of the unconditional love and grace my Heavenly Father feels for me. No matter how many times I screw up and fall short He is always there to forgive me and give me another chance. He forgets my transgressions the way my daughter forgets how impatient I was the night before when she wouldn't eat well and today still lets me calm and comfort her in my arms. She's already forgiven me and wants me to be near me and have me hold her.

Madison- 

You are such a treasure and a blessing. You are changing me and growing me to be a better Christian, wife, and mother. You are so patient and loving with me and I thank the Lord for you and the lessons that you are teaching me about our Heavenly Father's love, forgiveness, and grace. Thank you and I love you so much baby girl. Mommy