Twin Tuesday: Confessions from a TWIN Mom-to-Be

I did a post when I was pregnant with Madi called Confessions from a Mom-to-Be. It was a reassuring way for me to vent share my anxieties about becoming a mom. Since this time around I'm in a whole new ballgame, I thought I would do a similar post - Confessions from a TWIN Mom-to-Be, but this time at 30 weeks. :-)

So without further ado...

1. I am in shock and disbelief that I have no more than 8 weeks left before I get to meet my girls. And that's on the high end. I am 30 weeks today and Norway will not let you go past 38 weeks with twins, but there is always a chance they could come early...

2. I am still in denial that I am having twins. My mind cannot grasp how (or where) there are two babies inside me. I feel both of them kick, I see both of them on an ultrasound, but for some reason I still cannot wrap my mind around the fact that I will soon be a mother of three (and before I'm 30!).

3. A common question I get is "Does this pregnancy feel a lot different than your first?". All the books I have read say that it feels very different than a singleton pregnancy... Besides being a bit more tired and feeling that heaviness a bit earlier, the remainder has felt identical to Madi's pregnancy. I recognize that this is a huge blessing. But it also doesn't help with my denial in #2. ;-)

4. I have had trouble getting motivated to read books this time around. Jason and I were very enthusiastic about reading parenting books when I was pregnant with Madi. I'm not sure if this is a second baby thing or a twin thing, but I've had to force myself to read books about twins and twin scheduling, etc.

5. My first pregnancy I felt confident and sexy (call me naive), however, this pregnancy I have felt anything but... and it didn't help two weeks ago when I discovered my first stretch marks [insert whiny and crying emoticon here].

6. I am beyond thankful that we followed Baby Wise and Secrets of a Baby Whisperer and incorporated their techniques with Madi. She's an amazing sleeper and everything I've read and been given as advice from twin moms says that sleep training becomes imperative with two babies. Glad we practiced on numero uno.

7. Two babies to try and tandem breastfeed?!? It terrifies me. Enough said.

8. I truly want a vaginal delivery and know that it's completely up to these little ladies and how they choose to settle in. The idea of recovering from a C section with three kiddos sounds horrible. I feel very grateful that I am delivering in Norway, where it will be encouraged for me to try and deliver vaginally unless there is a strong, legitimate reason to schedule C section. In fact, the hospital told me that since it's my second delivery and there were no complications with the first, that they will recommend vaginal even if both babies are breech. They are trained for handling deliveries like that where the US is not so my chances of being able to deliver vaginally are much better here.

9. Hormones are soooo much worse with two little ladies! Bless Jason for his patience and endurance... he will need it for the next 18 years. ;-)

10. I feel physically prepared for the twins to arrive, but far from mentally prepared. We have the cribs and nursery all setup (minus hanging a few decorations), we have the car seats ready to install, and the stroller and prams setup. I had a slight panic attack looking at the stroller with two prams on it and thinking about there being two babies to take care of, but that aside, we are prepared for their arrival at any time in terms of equipment. I have not packed a hospital bag and one of the books said I should do that at 26 weeks. 26 weeks?!? But honestly, I should probably get on that since predictability of their arrival is out the window at this point.

11. I thought that I respected my body after carrying one baby. But now, after carrying these girls to 30 weeks, I feel significantly more respect for my body. It handles pregnancy very well and I feel extremely fortunate about that. It's a blessing to have made it this far and for things to be going so well for me and for the babies. We are thanking the Lord for keeping them safe and healthy and praying that I can make to 38 weeks.

12. It took me until 39-40 weeks with my first pregnancy before I got to the breaking point of being tired of being pregnant and ready to meet my baby girl... I think I will be reaching that point significantly sooner in this pregnancy!

13. Since I'm being totally honest here... I am still not 100% excited at the idea of having twins. I wasn't excited when we first heard the news and I still can't say that I'm really there now... the logical and practical part of me knows that this is going to be a huge challenge and therefore the emotional part of me that could be excited is out weighed. I am excited for baby snuggles, baby kisses, soft baby skin, and Madi to have two precious little sisters.

14. I know that moms of more than one kiddo say your heart instantaneously grows to love more kiddos. I know I will read this someday soon and think how silly it was of me to wonder how that happens, but it's just so incomprehensible to me to love another baby (much less two!) the same as I love Madi.

15. I feel undeservedly fortunate to be healthy and pregnant with two healthy baby girls. I have experienced more sadness and heartache this pregnancy with friends and acquaintances losing their little ones or having difficult pregnancies. It's not fair and it brings me to tears every time I think about it. I do not take for granted how fortunate we are.

And so with those confessions I leave you with my new motto once the twins arrive -